Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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