after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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