Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Your dad touched me again.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
