ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
