This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
