Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
