I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
