i think i recognize dicks better than faces
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
