Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
