Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I need moral support for this bender
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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