Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize