I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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