you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
