im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
