Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
