two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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