Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
