The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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