im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
