she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
