Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
