Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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