bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
