Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
