He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
