I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
