I didn't shave. On purpose
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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