Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
