he thought i was a dude.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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