Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
