My room smells like vodka and shame
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
