so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
