can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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