i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
