So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
