Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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