I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
