No, you can still breathe under the balls.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
