my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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