$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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