He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
