Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
