I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
