i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize