does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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