NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
now i know why i became what i already was.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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