just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
as a side note pls kill me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
