home. puking in laundry basket.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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