The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
