Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
