Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
