is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
