I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
