Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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