So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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