Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
