Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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