Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
