Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize