the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
