she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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