I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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