I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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