problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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