Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
