margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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