I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
3pm strippers are depressing
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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