It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize