just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
